(since Dave and Sammy are available on this site, I thought I would but it in sightings, but it's too bizarre, I thought. If y'all think it should go there instead, then we can always play musical forums)

Celebrity Skin and Bodily Fluids

ABOUT US
Celebrity Skin was formed in 2003 by an anonymous collective of former Hollywood personal assistants. We are based in Los Angeles, California.

FAQ

Where do you get your samples from?

We obtain the vast majority of our specimens from an extensive network of trustworthy suppliers, who in their dealings with entertainment and hospitality services, come into contact with celebrities on a day-to-day basis. On occasion we purchase quality specimens from private sellers. Regardless of where the specimens come from, we make certain that all specimens obtained go through the same rigorous testing process (see question 2).


How do you/I know these specimens from the listed celebrity?

All our specimens are tested by experienced body-fluid identification technicians at the Allamas Biological Research Facility in Greeley Colorado and cross-referenced hospital birth records and blood analysis from the Red Cross. As a last resort, we will attempt to verify our specimens by comparing our test results to various body-fluid tests conducted during periods of the individual’s incarceration, if available. Each specimen comes with a certificate of authenticity. We ensure our customers will receive a quality product.

How much of the specimen do I get?

For fecal and urine specimens, you will receive 2.0-3.0 cubic centimeters of specimen packaged in a hermetically-sealed transparent plastic cylinder (about the size of a film canister). The contents will be clearly visible through the cylinder. We do not recommend opening the cylinder after purchase, and we cannot be held liable for any injuries you sustain from engaging in this highly risky behavior.

For saliva, you will receive 0.5-1.0 cubic centimeters of specimen packaged in the same manner as the fecal and urine specimens. Some saliva samples may contain elements of toothpaste, mouthwash or food particles. We have no control over what the saliva may be mixed with.

Skin cells and bacteria come on a guaranteed non-corrosive and non-fogging durable glass slide for easy examination on any standard microscope.



What do you mean by “celebrity bacteria”?

Celebrity bacteria are cultures that have either come in direct contact with a celebrity or are progeny of such bacteria. The bacteria are removed from surfaces that the celebrities have touched, such as napkins, microphones, tables, and steering wheels. Note: these are not actual cells from any person or their bodily fluids.



Is this legal?

Yes. Federal laws simply require that our samples not create an immediate threat of injury or disease propagation. Our fecal matter, urine, saliva, and sweat specimens are hermetically sealed in unbreakable plastic containers to prevent any unwanted personal injury. Bacteria and skin cells are sealed within heavy-duty glass microscope slides.



Why don’t you sell blood?

Federal statutes prohibit the selling of blood samples, and as such, we do not offer this as product.



What is your return policy?

Due to the nature of our products, we cannot accept any returns, and we do not offer refunds except in very extreme circumstances, which are determined on a case by case basis.



I can get Courtney Love’s [or some other celebrity’s] vaginal fluid [or other bodily fluid]! Will you buy it from me?

Possibly. It depends on how much you can get, the current availability of that celebrity’s specimens, and whether we have the resources to properly identify the specimen in our routine tests. Sellers of accepted specimens will usually earn roughly $500 to $1000 dollars, depending on type of specimen and quantity. Contact us directly for more information regarding this.

the link to see Dave and Sammy is: http://www.blackpitchpress.com/celebrityskin/music.htm

Currently you can get Dave's shit and bacteria and Sam's piss and bacteria.

Dave's bacteria costs more than Sam's bacteria

Ok, I have now officially heard everything.

I'll pass on the shit, piss and saliva. But if you could get me a semen sample...Just kidding - I'd rather "obtain" that for myself, thankyouverymuch. (I'll hold my breath...)

What, do these trolls hang out in the sewer systems of the hotels the celebs stay in and dismantel the pipes to collect their "goods"? EEEEeeeew.

I'm with Chelle on this one - I, too, have now officially heard EVERYTHING.

(One question they should satisfy the answer to is "What proof does the "buyer" have that the sample is authentic?" Does the celebrity "donor" provide a COA?!" LOL!)

let me just put it this way...

click the link, go to the site, and click the "add to cart" button on any of 'em...

quote:

I can get Courtney Love’s [or some other celebrity’s] vaginal fluid [or other bodily fluid]! Will you buy it from me?

Possibly. It depends on how much you can get, the current availability of that celebrity’s specimens, and whether we have the resources to properly identify the specimen in our routine tests. Sellers of accepted specimens will usually earn roughly $500 to $1000 dollars, depending on type of specimen and quantity. Contact us directly for more information regarding this.

Courtney Love... Who'd wanna go there? *shudder*