Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding.

The process continued until all safes were opened. They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read:




IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS
MORNING...

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"As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way."--Jack Handey

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"It's like Phish and Jimmy Buffett. It's not about the song, it's about the whole weekend." -- David Lee Roth

An 82 year old Vermont woman convicted of vehicular manslaughter has had her license suspended for 10 years.

Apparently the state feels the time off will make her a more confident, skilled and careful driver when they let her back on the road when she's 92.

In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop down to single digits or below.

About 3 a.m., one very cold morning, trooper Allan Nixon responded to a call that said there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Shattuck, Oklahoma. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running.

Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.

The driver woke up when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rear view mirror, and the State Trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into "drive" and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20-30-40 and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.

Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the "speeding," but still stationary car. The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This went on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "Pull over!"

The man obeyed, turned his wheel and stopped the engine. Needless to say, the man from Dumas, Texas was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the state trooper in Oklahoma who could run 50 miles per hour.

Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?