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First I'd like to say it's an honor, being selected as November's Featured member of the month! I was a bit reluctant to do this, unless in fact I made a minimal 10 posts at your website. I accomplished that feat today, so here I am the WARFSTER ready to answer each and every question, totally unedited for the Van Halen community's viewing pleasure! Oh, by the way I was born in Waltham, Mass but I've been living in this toxic waste of the world known as Florida since 1983.

Let's see... I've physically lived in quite a few cites, although I would label myself as a Floridian. Besides Waltham, I've lived in Chicago, Atlanta, but mostly in South Florida... as a matter of fact I was recently selected to the Florida voters ballot committee, but they fired me cuz I supported the BILL COSBY picture pages techinque! You know.... Picture pages.... picture pages... having lots of fun with your pencil... SING ALONG CHILDREN! LOL My theory is, you gotta draw a line from the word, "PRESIDENT" and then connect it to the actual picture of either George Dubya, or John Kerry.... for complete accuracy! Cuz you don't want these 93 year old retired people to complain for the next 4 years.... it's bad enough the price of Egg McMuffins went up 25%!!!

I am a single child. That's why I am creative... there was simply nobody to play with. My parents used to put me in timeout... which was basically the equivalent to David Lee Roth's monkey hour.

I am currently single, ladies, but I have a six year old daughter... so if you’re single out there... I'm ready for more kids... and if you’re Puerto Rican.... let's start the Puerto Rican Brady Bunch... and I'll hire the maid Alice!!

I played the Kazoo in 6th grade. Does that count?

Besides Nude Celebrity Twister, I am a huge fan of Football! J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!!!

Nude Celebrity Twister... when I become a celebrity!

I dunno... is the credit card stolen?

…Call Dave, Eddie, Alex and Michael to play a WARF Benefit concert at my house for $250,000 a piece. I know Dave will do it... that's more money that the entire DIAMOND DAVE album grossed in general. If that can't happen.. I'd probably jump on a cruise ship with fat old people, and sail away for the rest of my life.... and try to learn the macarena dance!

I wish I was a sperm again, but a little bit slower... I'd let another one pass on route to the WARF MOTHER EGG... it's a crazy fucking world we live in! LOL ... I'm still tryin' to find the perfect female.... but I've been out of synch lately... ever since LOVE CONNECTION has been out of syndication.

I dunno... most kids wanted to be a policeman or a fireman... I wanted to be a ROCK SUPERSTAR like David Lee Roth... or at least a legend in my own mind... like I am now.

I don't really fucking remember LOL. Does Sesame Street On Ice count?

I never really cared for the radio. I appreciate good music, in any art form... it's doesn't have to necessarily be Classic Rock! I like all kinds of music... hip hop, R&B, Country, Jazz... even classical! It all basically is the same message.... in hip hop they say, "I wanna stick dees nuts in your ass BEEYATCH!" In country they say, "I love ya darling, let me buy you a beer!" I've come to the conclusion it's all the same music... except rappers carry guns!!!

I don't remember all the details, but when I was 6 years old... I somehow got a LP of Diver Down. I was listening to Van Halen when most other kids where playing with their G.I. JOES! The song, "Secrets" was my original favorite song back then... and remains my favorite Van Halen song to this day. However it took me about 10 years to understand the meanings to the lyrics. I hate when people say they are a Van Halen fan, because they lived through it. I could rant and rave for the next several paragraphs about why I despise Sammy Hagar, but it would be worthless. I am a Van Halen fan period. Sammy Hagar does nothing for me... and even though Eddie Van Halen is a genius... gettin' a new Van Hagar album is like opening a beautiful wrapped gift... and finding underwear inside.

DING! DING! DING! Show her door Number three, Johnny!!! Jacksonville, FL January 1984... I believe it was the first date of the tour. All I can say is when "JUMP" first came on the radio I was addicted immediately... and continued the addiction until Sammy Hagar butchered it from 1986 and beyond... I remember the concert vaguely... I kept yellin' at my Dad... I wanted to stay and see the encore... but my father wanted to beat the traffic... saying... "We'll see them next year!" Here I am 20 years later... there never was another Van Halen concert!

3 or 4... I saw him on the YFLM tour... at a local Fort Lauderdale club, "THE BUTTON SOUTH" in 1994.. and three times between 2001 and 2003. I actually dressed up with a DLR wig and spandex during the Sam & Dave tour. I was fucking drunk as a mofo, and was wearing my vintage, "Hide Your Sheep" tour shirt with the lion logo on front... I almost got laid from this one chick... but when we were kissing the wig fell off! I went from Ralph Saenz to Rob Halford in 2.3 seconds!!!

The only time I ever saw Sammy was during the Sam & Dave tour. I don’t recall Sammy ever gettin’ any of my money... because the only Van Hagar album I ever owned was "FUCK" and that was a gift... and I never really gave it much airplay... I will confess though it was GREAT watching Eddie Van Halen with a Drill in his hand... at the beginning of the Poundcake video... that stands out to me as the one true shining moment of Van Hagar history! LOL

It's a toss up between Fair Warning and VH II. I think I'll go with Van Halen II, because of its rawness. I don't believe there is a single flaw on that album, and I think the rush of production actually helped it. Seriously... is there any Van Halen that wasn't rushed? Between 1978 and 1983 they made an album every year!

Eat Em And Smile! It's a great album all the way through. Some people don't care for Steve Vai, and label him as a whiner... I really don't care... David Lee Roth started to go downhill after Ted Templeman stopped producing his albums. As far as my favorite solo song? There are quite a few. I love "Slam Dunk" cuz it truly captures the spirit of Classic Van Halen with Ray Luzier's expert drumming. I also love Hina and Drop In The Bucket!

I love karaoke. I sing at least a couple nights a week. It's a lot of fun. I am friends with quite a few hosts, and they all have a dozen classic Van Halen songs. I even have the classic whistle and jump kicks down to a tee... but a lot of people aren't used to watching Eminem perform Panama!!!

I stumbled across the DLR Army website in the spring of 2000. It started off with a few posts, which led to becoming a moderator and a webmaster... now I'm at DDLR.com as a super moderator! I am passionate about Classic Van Halen... I created my first thread and I never looked back!

Having you as the original first lady! :)

I dunno... maybe the fact it was during the golden era of the DLR Army, you know... back in the days when you could expect at least one or two hitch rants per day. I also enjoyed the attacks we made at the Pleasure Dome, looking back at it. The Diamond Mafia was a lot of fun while it lasted... I don’t regret starting the fan club... not even for a second. Who could forget the hitchwar? It was simply a great time in Van Halen land... I miss it a lot!

I've met Von Halen. I guess nobody else listens to Van Halen in Boca Raton. I also was friends with stratomaster from the Pleasure Dome. He died in May 2001. That was my only close buddy from these message boards. We were supposed to see David Lee Roth together, and I still have his extra ticket. Maybe we'll see the DLR reunion tour up in the sky on day!!

Nope, but I've met Ralph Saenz of the Punks and Brian Young of the DLR Band. I actually saw one of the final Punks shows in Fort Lauderdale. I met Brian there, a real cool down to earth person. He mentioned to me, "Did you hear Bart isn't in the band anymore?" Then he smiled at me.... a few weeks later, he's on tour with the Toastmaster General!

It's great advertising! You need drama and chaos in your life.... it's all the great ingredients for a masterpiece SOAP OPERA! Forget, "General Hospital"... come over to www.diamonddavidleeroth.com and watch "DAVES OF OUR LIVES!" LOL Every fucking week there is a new travesty, and people gettin' their panties in a wad! Especially when I create a new alias! A lot of people don't realize it's all for entertainment baby!!! If you take this internet bullshit too seriously... you need to shut off your computer. I also would like to offer advice to all the newbies! Whatever you do in your life... don't become a moderator!! Because you have to get involved in silly board meetings and then face the board of directors over avatars being changed. As a matter of fact.. I am currently of probation for giving Catfish a "5150" avatar. LOL But you know... it's about having fun. I'm gonna continue to be a part of the Van Halen community as long as I'm having fun.... or until Vince Hamburger Head comes back into the Van Halen world. (I think you gave me a karma point, Chelle, for the Eugene Levy thread.) But it's all good in the hood baby!!! Cuz it's like WARM APPLE PIE!!!

I am a totally different person in real life... but I am still humorous.

I can’t really elaborate on this question. The only way you’ll truly know me is by talking to me on the phone or meeting me in person. The message boards are purely entertainment to me. I consider my online personality as an obnoxious/arrogant asshole at times... and I will confess I am an attention whore... but I’m actually the opposite in real life. It’s hard to explain... but you can get away with a lot of bullshit on message boards that you can’t in actual life. A lot of my threads/rants/fights are strictly bullshit to catch your attention... I dunno... I think it’s a cool internet attitude to have... just like Classic Van Halen... it’s an attitude above everything else!

LOL, Damn, Chelle... I've been sooo many... I can't even count them... maybe one day I will be immortalized like ELVIS.. and there will be WARF sightings in Las Vegas.

WARF! LOL

I dunno... I was an actor in high school... I really hate how phony people are on the internet... so I decided... I’ll create my own characters and try to react the way that person would in real life. Like Raven for an example... she was a satanic psychopath... I studied two weeks on necrophilia... then I posted Raven’s dark fantasies in a thread... it freaked everyone out... but I am proud of her... I created a real internet persona from scratch... and it took almost 4 months for even the webmasters to figure out it was me. LOL

I dunno... I’ve always been a huge wrestling fan... I would get jealous of people like JUSTOJAKE, FAB, Watthi, ed6150, etc etc... because I’ve always wanted to be the asshole everyone hated... but in actuality I am a nice friendly person... so my goal was to create a character so mean and vicious everyone would hate her... that’s where I came up with the idea for Raven!

I'm a pornstar baby! YEAH!!!! LOL
I dunno... I am double jointed... and can stick both arms and legs behind my head!!