November 2007 Featured User

TheDoctor1970

November's featured user, TheDoctor1970, has some experiences to share. He and his lovely wife, Kitty, have been in the adult movie industry for 10 years. Have I got your attention now? If so, read on. But no minors, please...graphic content follows. You have been warned.

Chelle: I asked for a volunteer for this month's featured user and this is the response I got from THEDOCTOR.

TheDoctor1970: If ya don't have anyone, I'll do the user thang for ya....what's it consist of? If it's running around the front yard naked pretending to be Will Ferrell and yelling, "Lets go streaking!" Well, I haven't done it in a while but I'm game. LOL

Um bio...hm I'm a Gemini. I could talk all day (I have twice as much to say!), but I'm on the cusp of Cancer. So I have the personality of a Gemini, the emotions of a Cancer. (which means creative, talkey, witty and sharp tongued, neurotic about sex, but deeply sensitive emotionally)

I love, love certain things - Van Halen and Doctor Who, comics and porn. I'm a self professed rock n roll/sci fi geek.

I love to write songs and sing, but hate the band situation, some asshole always screws it up.

Um I dont know what else to say.....Mrs Kitty and I did adult vids for 10 years now, um Im 6'1 180 lbs,tattooed....uh anything else?

Chelle: First off, tell me more about the adult movie industry. If you've already posted all about this and I missed it, I apologize. I don't spend a lot of time in the adult forum (just a little LOL).

TheDoctor1970: The adult industry, LOL. The "Male American Dream"...right? Well maybe, but not....quite. Most guys will tell you, "I could do that", because they believe that making porn is like real fucking. Let me tell you ....it ain't. I say to guys who say they can that they can do a simple test. Get a group of your friends (guys) together and right in front of them, take out your dick and jerk off in front of them. Look them in the eyes like they are the camera. Most, nay, alllllll shoots have a guy filming, and sometimes a few guys watching, sound, friends, the girl you are having sex with's bf, etc. Or next time you are having sex have a guy crawl under you and snap some shots of your balls. Have someone tell you to move her hair, shift this way, that way, etc and still "look natural" while you are taking fuck directions. Try having to pull your cock out halfway from the girl's (fill in orifice blank), yes halfway....and spend 10-15 mins NOT moving while a guy shoots stills from every possible angle. If you can keep your dick hard, YOU CAN DO PORN> It ain't like REAL sex where you just go with the moment and enjoy. You constantly have guys ALLLL around you, and things being said, and "hold there while i fuck with the camera, the lights, etc. Not to mention the lights can be fucking hot (I almost passed out at one shoot) the girls can be dicks, you may hate the camera man, or you may be fighting with the girl you are supposed to be having "a religious experience" with. Then to top it off, the cumshot. This is normally the perfect cap off of sex. In porn it is demanded on time, within 30 secs and usually is you standing there with your dick in hand coaxing it to the edge and saying "ok Im ready!" and going on cue. You start off jerking to get hard (in front of everyone) and end up jerking to get off (in front of everyone). SOUND FUN? LOL One other thing about the porn industry. There is only a small percentage of true, honest people in it. MOST are there to exploit and rip you off. They don't care if you are having a bad day, are sick, or hurting, or ANYTHING. Most are trying to fuck you over on money, or trying to take your girl to the side and offer her money to ditch you. Not to mention dumbass girls who seem to think going to hotel rooms ALONE to film sex is a good idea. They often end up raped, or dead. Girls should NEVER go to a shoot without someone. Preferably the biggest guy they know. We know personally a girl who went to one with one of the biggest mother fuckers I know, and he got popped with a bat and she got raped. It's a dangerous situation to begin with much less going ALONE. We indirectly heard of a girl we all knew by name that was told by our friends not to do that, who ended up getting killed. And almost ALLLLLL of the girls are crazy. Psychos, nuts, bitchy drama queens you don't even WANT to fuck once they start their nonsense. Most are neurotic, baggage carrying, severely dysfunctional bitches. That being said, Kitty and I have made some reallllly good friends, mostly couples that are the salt of the earth. People we have to our kids' bday parties. It's not ALL bad, it's just not the glamous fuckfest everyone believes. It's a lot of WORK and for the guy it's damn hard to fake it if ya ain't in the mood. For women it's a constant contest to maintain beauty and that can definitely play on the psyche when there are 10 million girls younger and ready to take your place. Again BEST job I ever had, a couple can net $1000 for 2 hours work, it sure as hell beats raking rocks on construction sites. But it ain't sex.

Chelle: Do you have funny stories that happened at shoots?

TheDoctor1970: Funny porn stories?

hm.......

We were filming once and the phone rang ....we kept going and the answering machine picked up,and we heard "This is my mom" Yeah that was funny/awkward.

Um another time I pulled a Ron Jeremy and had them count down from 30 to 0 to do my sploosh shot. They thought it was funny that I could do it on cue like that.

We did a shoot for Randy West and afterwards, with Kitty's ass in the air he was showing me positioning (not actually doing it, simulated, for a certain shot. I was like OMG I'm getting shoot lessons from a porn Sensai!

One of my best friends' Mother called to say she just saw me on the Playboy channel. His response - You were watching porn?

We filmed one time and the camera guy got so hot he let the camera film the floor for a full 2 mins.......

We once filmed in a townhouse and I was pounding Kitty so hard we were moving the dresser on the side of the bedroom, lol

I'm not sure if any of these qualify for funny but there ya have it some stories......

Chelle: What's the most disgusting thing that ever happened on a shoot?

TheDoctor1970: Most distgustiong, hmmmmm I don't ever remember a disgusting thing on a shoot other than the attitudes of some of the girls. I will say this. Watching two girls do still pics totally takes away from it. Girls notoriously when just doing posed shots, act like retards in between shots. Picking their noses, making goofy faces. I don't watch the still shoots anymore. It ruined still ff pics for me.

Chelle: Ok, on to the more standard questions (not that anybody cares about this shit now, LOL)...Where were you born/raised?

TheDoctor1970: I'm a native Floridian. One of the few. Most people here are from somewhere else, mostly cold places, trying to escape the winters. I was born and raised in Hollywood, Florida.

Chelle: Where do you live now?

TheDoctor1970: Hell. Thats what people who have been here for 20 years call it now. The influx of so many people and the skyrocketing housing, taxes,and insurance rates have made it damn near impossible to exist. It's hot ALLLLLLLLL year (figure 80's or better even in winter) and almost always 80% humidity. The beaches used to be beautiful, now I see medical waste washing up. The Ft Lauderdale strip of legend is GONE. I'm leaving here once my son graduates high school and heading to greener pastures in North Carolina.

Chelle: Do you have any siblings?

TheDoctor1970: I am an only child. However I do believe that I have an evil doppleganger in the world.....so watch out!

Chelle: What is your earliest memory?

TheDoctor1970: Being with my grandparents, whom I loved so much and miss to this day.

Chelle: What was your childhood nickname?

TheDoctor1970: Richie

Chelle: When you were a kid, what did you always want to be when you grew up?

TheDoctor1970: When I was a kid, a little nard, I remember wanting to be a Doctor (funny huh?). Then I wanted to be a superhero. (I absolutely was addicted to Spiderman and Batman when I was a kid) Tastes changed dramatically in the teen years.....My discovery of my penis shaped the dream of being in porn. I used to do penis exercises to prepare. I was a hardcore surfer, until that fateful night seeing Ozzy. Women throwing bras and panties and the absolute rush of live metal made me forget surfing. The next day receiving the vinyl copy of VH1 made me want to BE David Lee Roth.

Chelle: What did you actually end up doing? (you're not really a doctor, are you?)

TheDoctor1970: No, I'm not a Doctor, I only portray one online. It's actually taken from my fav sci fi character, The Doctor, from Doctor Who. I ended up working construction for a few years, then becoming a full time painter(commercial). I used to do stage work, hanging from a swing stage and going up 30 stories outside. It scared the fear of heights right out of me. I had enough of construction and since touring the world without a band wasn't an option, I got a job inside. I run a VW shop for one of the coolest (and horniest) bosses ever. I get to tell people the bad news and price and explain how, what and why they need repairs for their VW. The owner is the guy who created the skateboard move, The Ollie. I also spend a tremendous amount of time grabbing porn pics, and posting them on the DLR board. It's like my second job. For 8 years Kitty and I have done adult work, and can sometimes be seen on the Playboy channel, and numerous websites.

Chelle: What is your dream job?

TheDoctor1970: Touring the world and singing my ass off to stadium crowds of course!

Chelle: Do you play any musical instruments?

TheDoctor1970: I sing. I play guitar badly, but just enough to show bad licks to great guitarists who help me throw out my bad idea and do a good one, lol. I muddled through vocals for years ,and finally took lessons from the great Matt Kramer (of Saigon Kick fame). He helped me find depths of my voice I didnt know existed.

Chelle: Did you play any instruments as a child that you don't play any more?

TheDoctor1970: I once had a David Cassidy guitar when I was like 5. Does that count?

Chelle: Absolutely. Tell me about your family.

TheDoctor1970: I have a beautiful wife Mrs Kitty. I have 3 outstanding kids. I have my son from my first marriage, Richie III. He makes me laugh, and is my pal. Raised right, his first songs he EVER heard (I wouldnt let music be played till these got done) were....Eruption/You Really Got Me, Stairway, and The Battle Of Evermore. He's 15 and I've got him hooked on comics, sci fi and metal. He just made the comment "DLR VH is MORE FUN than Sammy Hagar VH." There were tears in my eyes.....Megan (17} is our oldest child, my beautiful daughter (I am hesitant to say step because I've been a Dad to her since 6). She's finishing hi school this year and is mensa-smart. She beautiful and ladylike and is one of those kids with an inner light that you just know will succeed. I glow seeing her growing up, and have her football player bf so scared of me he throws up before visiting(irony). He's a good kid though, we've adopted him. She is going to be a world shaker. Kristyn-(14)She is our little firecracker. The first time a guy says something she don't like, she's gonna tell him to go fuck himself. She's our youngest and battles adhd. She is finally blossoming this year into a little lady. She loves Karate and has a cool little dog named sweetums. She's as smart as a whip, and really funny. I have 2 min pins and 3 cats and one bunny.

Chelle: Do any of your kids know about the adult movie thing? If so, how weird was it when they found out?

TheDoctor1970: Our kids know. We are really open about life with our kids. We told them a looong time ago that we did "adult" work, so they didn't get into certain files on the computer. We are very open about answering our kids questions, not to mention, being around us is a very blunt proposition. I don't believe in keeping things from my son. He's my best bud. I joke with him all the time and he is always going "oh my god Dad, ewwwwwww. I'm going to go poke out my eyes now" when I joke about Kitty and I having sex. I'll say funny things like "You know, son, when ya get older and sex becomes a little predictable, you'll spice it up.....Sometimes you'll do things like role-play." He nods sagely like he understands. So I throw him a curve by saying..."So like you'll dress up for each other." He again goes "oh right" like he knows where I'm goin."Sometimes Kitty dresses as Bo Peep and I put on a Giant Sheep outfit, and get 'lost" and she has to find me, and spank me for being a bad sheep" Stunned silence. His eyes get big.
"Just kiddin son." He goes "ohhhhhh" and laughs, visibly releived his Dad's not a freak. So I say, "She doesnt spank me, She shears me, cause I'm baaa baaa baaaaad" Wide eyes again. It's fun to fuck with your kids, especially teenagers who think they know everything.

Chelle: I'm assuming min pins are some sort of pet, but could you elaborate?

TheDoctor1970: I have 2 "terrible tyrants" as min pins (minature pinschers) are known to be. One black 'n tan fat little demon, who if isn't seen, is doing something wrong, and one chocolate~red one who is hyperactive and has a cleft lip. We got them from min pin rescue. Their names are Damien (appropriate) and Flashie. Our cats are Merlin, Morgana ,and Fate. Merlin is a fusker, Morgana is a scaredy cat, and Fate is a little fat cat. I had a regular sized Dobie named Satan. He was 13 when he passed. Broke my heart,that one did.

Chelle: What's a fusker?

TheDoctor1970: A fusker is derived from the ancient latin term "fuskier" or the shorter namen couture "fusk". It was primarily used in reference to engaging in relations of the "biblical" nature, meaning to "lay with".....which in time became applied to people themselves, as in "that fusker!"
Actually , it was probably me mispelling fucker, lol.

Chelle: LOL! How long have you been married?

TheDoctor1970: I have been married since 03 been with Kitty since 97. We met on the internet in the "females ISO hot longhaired men". She was the first girl in the first room the first time I went on I talked to an I actually started off ragging her for not having a profile, thinking she was a guy f'ing with other men. She sent me a pic, and amonth later she flew from Cali to me for two weeks. We were having sex within 10 mins and my roomates were calling us Babs and Buster bunny. lol. We had sex 32 times in 4 days. She stayed, went to my family reunion, went back and one month later moved here for good. We've been together ever since, all the his lows and,ahem,in betweens.

Chelle: Do you have a myspace?

TheDoctor1970: http://www.myspace.com/mrslamdawg

Chelle: Other favorite website?

TheDoctor1970: Um I'm a sci fi geek, so I frequent Dr Who sites, action figure sites, and oh yes porn sites galore!

Chelle: What was the first record, tape or CD you remember buying?

TheDoctor1970: I remember buying The Empire Strikes Back soundtrack (12" vinyl) and playing that till it damn near wore down to nothing. I still have it. The first rock one was Led Zeppelin "In Through The Out Door". I was discovering Zep.

Chelle: When did you first get into Van Halen?

TheDoctor1970: Ahhhhh It would be Sept 86. I can remember the day. Until the night prior, I had been a surfer. My next door neighbor, was like a brother to me. He had met me when I was 3 and acted like my older sibling. Taught me to tie my shoes, ride a skateboard, surf, and go to the Ft Laud strip. Had my first drink with him. He took me to see Ozzy (I know long winded there's a point be patient!), and it blew me away. That night the surfer died and the wanna be rocker emerged from the salty ashes. The very next day he called and said, "meet me at the fence". I went out and he said, "Here give a listen to this". In that moment, my life was about to change. It was VH 1. His vinyl copy. He told me to check out track 2, so that went on first. Right into YRGM. I was flabergasted. Who were these guys? How could they be so great and so fun at once? They sung, played, rocked LIKE THEIR ASSES WERE ON FIRE! The SCREAMS, the GUITARS! The Drums! The Groove! The backing vocals! The sexual references! It WAS ALL THERE! I went over and discovered Scott had worked for them, roadieing. He told me about the hotel bar where Dave was just like Dave on stage. Bottle of JD swaggering around holding court. I was enthralled. From that point on.....I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to write and play music for people. I wanted to see them LIVE! Unfortunatley ...it was 1986. Fuckers! Shortly later that year, he took me to see DLR EEAS. To this day, that was the best fucking concert I ever saw. My bro died untimely, a victim of crime. I have his VH 1 albumn on my sc fi room. VH became a PART of my life. I ate, drank, and slept their music, collecting every album, every poster I could get. Shit,I dressed like Dave. I idolized him. Between his wardrobe and Dr Who's I seriously fucked up my fashion sense to this day! When I see VH on this tour....I know that my bro will be there with me during Eruption, and smilin and catchin a buzz during Ice Cream Man. For me it's about the memories these guys inspired in me.

Chelle: How many shows have you been to?

TheDoctor1970: Good God, so many I couldn't count them, but I do have a lot of my old tickets {showing a reasonable $15.75 for headliners price) including DLR EEAS 86 and DLR in....90? ON MY BIRTHDAY!

Chelle: Are you going to any shows on the current tour?

TheDoctor1970: I will be going when they swing down this way - I'm confident they will.

Chelle: What are your feelings about the Michael Anthony/Wolfie situation?

TheDoctor1970: I've said it before. MA is a great, nice guy. I know this personally. My daughter has one of his daughters as a pen pal. He has given me little things like used pics, autographs, etc. The guy is all class, especially about this situation, and the one in the group that is all about the fans. It's a sad situation that he was booted. I am a Dad. I understand Ed's desire to have his son with him. But MA stood by him allllll those years. WTF. If Ed had said, MA, I want him to play on stage with us on some songs I truuuuly believe MA would have said "BRING HIM OUT." Now I do say this, supposedly it's the kid that suggested Dave be back ,and it's the kid that suggested these songs. If that's true, I will never ever fault him for this. In my opinion he was the voice of fucking reason on Howdy Doody Mountain, and the only one to calm Ed's fucking ego down. It may actually bring out the best in his Dad, and for that....enjoy your groupies Wolfie.

Chelle: Have you met any of the band members?

TheDoctor1970: No. I met Steve Vai for long enought to get a pic and autograph and Greg Bissonette. He was one HELL of a cool guy. But as of yet, no VH members...but someday, maybe someday.

Chelle: What is the thing you like most about yourself?

TheDoctor1970: Um my biting sarcasm and humor?

Chelle: What is the thing you like least about yourself?

TheDoctor1970: I"m not big on my looks.

Chelle: Do you think Barbie is a negative role model for young girls?

TheDoctor1970: Hell no. Barbie has got it all and she doesn't even have to have sex with Ken! She's living the dream AND banging GI Joe as he plays VH. She's a bitchin chick! And I don't see trying to look super hot as a problem.

Chelle: What is your favorite smell?

TheDoctor1970: Pumpkin spice candles/oils. Yep I'm gay that way.

Chelle: Favorite sound?

TheDoctor1970: My families laughter, followed by CVH (I absolutely love Dave's screams on "Outta Love Again" - gives me goosebumps"

Chelle: Favorite food?

TheDoctor1970: Good GOD, I dont know. I'd have to say a good juicy steak, and dark chocolate are the things I go gaga for.

Chelle: Favorite sport to watch?

TheDoctor1970: Football, cept I'm a Dolphins fanin hell)

Chelle: Favorite sport to participate in?

TheDoctor1970: The Horizontal bop? Or is that a dance? Marathon Intercourse - I hear it's gonna be in the next Olympics......

Chelle: Favorite movie of all time?

TheDoctor1970: Ouchies, um "The Empire Strikes Back"

Chelle: Favorite comedian?

TheDoctor1970: Sam Kinison and Jim Carey

Chelle: Favorite superhero?

TheDoctor1970: Spiderman all the way

Chelle: If you could have a super power, what would it be?

TheDoctor1970: Hm ....Invisibility

Chelle: It is your friend's birthday; do you buy them a gift even though they didn't buy you one for yours?

TheDoctor1970: Yes if they are my friend. I value my true friends like family. Some even more so.

Chelle: You win the $300 million power-ball lottery. What do you do?

TheDoctor1970: Travel the world, and get a serious band effort going.

Chelle: Do you like to keep the peace or be confrontational?

TheDoctor1970: Keep the peace until needed. Then....I'm not afraid of confronting the devil himself.

Chelle: Are you more likely to be with a large group of people or a few close friends?

TheDoctor1970: A few close friends.

Chelle: Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?

TheDoctor1970: Location, location, location. If it's somewhere like the Grand Canyon, camping. New Orleans? Hotel baby!

Chelle: Any strange phobias?

TheDoctor1970: I am extremely grossed out by pus, or gross body excrements to the point of throwing up. Does that count?

Chelle: What do you want in your life right now?

TheDoctor1970: To be able to use my creativity more. I have songs and stories I'm currently trying like hell to do something with.

Chelle: What one song would you want played at your funeral?

TheDoctor1970: Freebird. Man that would make everyone cry like hell! Followed by VH ....Happy Trails!