FORD Interview

Love him or hate him, but you can't ignore him. If you've spent any time at all on the various VH/DLR related boards, you encountered FORD, or at least heard of him.

At last, the much anticipated interview.......
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What was your favorite toy as a child? Why?

Hot wheels & Matchbox cars, with the track laid out all over the house in a highway system. Then probably Legos after that. Drove my mom crazy on both counts. If I had been a kid more recently, it probably would have been the computer.

Were you ever on the debate team?

Yeah, in high school. How'd you guess ?

Do you play any musical instruments? Any good?

I've always loved music. I used to play drums, but it's been a while. Tried several times to learn guitar, but my fingers just wouldn't bend into the right positions for chords. I sing karaoake once in a while, but it takes a good quantity of alcohol to get me on stage.

If you had to spend the rest of your life on a deserted island all by yourself, and could only take ONE of the following things with you, which would it be and why?
Your favorite book
a sheep
unlimited supply of paper and pencils
a keg of Guinness
musical instrument of your choice

If the keg of Guinness were bottomless, that would be my choice. Then again, if I took a drum kit and played really loud, a passing ship could hear it. I’d actually take a laptop with a cellular modem and a solar battery.

Sheep?? Who wrote these questions?

What do you do for a living that allows you so much time on the internet? And where do I apply for that job?

Given the “breach of privacy” events that transpired a few months ago, I'm not going to give out any details about that. Let's just say I work in Information Technology. And you can't apply for the job because nobody's hiring around here (Californians stay out!! )


What got you interested in music and how did you compile the extensive in-depth knowledge you display?

I can't remember NOT loving music. Certainly can't credit my parents. The only thing they listen to more recent than 1960 is country. And I mean the "cry in the beer cheat on the wife and my truck don't run" variety. I was borrowing Beatles, Stones and Zeppelin albums from my older brother when I was 7. Did I say borrowed? It's not like I actually gave them back. The knowledge... comes from the love of music.

If you had to have sex with any member of VH, past or present, (gun to your head, no way out of it) which would it be? And would you give, or receive?

Sass Jordan!! She auditioned, and they told her she would be the singer "if she didn't have tits". So that means she was "in the band" as much as anyone else in 1996.

When would you say you became a VH fan? What turned you on to VH?

February 1978. I can honestly say that the only way you were a Van HALEN fan before me is if you lived in LA.

Radio was dismal in 1978. Punk Rock was great, but even then I knew those bands wouldn't last, and radio wouldn't touch them. And fucking Free Bird/Stairway/Layla 10 minute songs that were old even then! I love those songs, but they don't belong on the radio every day, it gets old. And Disco? Oh Christ.... :

Suddenly one day, cutting through all that bullshit was this loud car horn, followed by this thump thump thump thump, a guitar riff from another planet, and a scream from the bowels of Hell itself.... And what the hell is this guy singing about? At first, I actually thought they were singing "BURNING With the Devil"! ^..^



What is your all-time fave album? Song? Video?

If you mean Van HALEN albums, I'll say Fair Warning. The first 5 are perfect as far as I'm concerned, but Fair Warning is usually the one I reach for first. And Unchained would be the song and video. and if I might add....

OAKLAND 1981, ON DVD... RELEASE IT NOW!!!!


How did you get your far left political views?

I'm not sure I'm as "far left" as some would like to think. The first time I can remember being politically aware was at the age of 14. It was January 20, 1981. The hostages from Iran were released the minute Reagan took office. Even then, I knew something was very wrong with that picture. And the more the Reagan "Moral Majority" types tried to tie Jesus Christ to their agenda, the more the people in my conservative Baptist church bought it, and the more it disgusted me.

I'm not what you would call a Bible thumper by any means, and I have no illusions of being perfect. Far from it. I do try to live my life by the teachings of Jesus Christ, and some days I succeed better than others. I look at how the right wing treats people and sometimes I wonder if they have ever even read the Bible, much less attempted to live by Christ's teachings.

Not that the Democratic party is a collective of saints either, as our last President proved. But Jimmy Carter, on the other hand, lived up to the claim of being a Christian, both in office, and since. In high school, I was so disgusted by Reagan's policies that I became a punk anarchist. I actually believed NO government at all was better than their attempts at theocracy. Well, obviously, age brings wisdom and I realized no rules at all wasn't going to work, due to the greedy nature of far too many people.

Bottom line.... I think the last 20 years have proven that the right wing values guns, oil, tobacco, and profits far more than they do people and the only planet we have.

Are you for gun control? Why or why not?

I have no problem with sane, law abiding adults owning a reasonable number of guns. I believe a 5 day waiting period is good, not only because it allows a proper background check, but because it allows the buyer a few days to chill out. I have never bought a gun myself for that reason - I have a clean record but the times I wanted to buy a gun the most would be the very times I might have used it and regretted it later, possibly from a prison cell.

The problem I have is with gun shows. Often the people who plan and attend these events are right wing extremist militia nuts who interpret the Second Amendment to mean anybody has the "right" to be better armed than the local National Guard Armory, no matter how psychotic they are, or what their criminal record is.

The kids at Columbine got some of their weapons at a gun show, that's a fact. So did a psychopath from this area who shot up a Jewish day care in LA. He was both a convicted criminal and a mental patient, who also associated with the Aryan Nations nazis in Idaho. When he was arrested he had everything from grenades to surface to air missile launchers in his van!! This is a prime example of an individual who should never be allowed within a mile of a firearm.

Given a choice between debating the Dave -vs- Sammy thing or bashing republicans if you could only do one for the rest of your life which would you choose? Why?

That's an easy one. I'll always believe that Van HALEN is Dave, Eddie, Mikey, and Alex. But there will come a time when Van Halen ceases to exist altogether. We might already be there, and Dave & Sammy themselves might have made their peace with each other. However, I'm afraid I'll always be battling against the injustices of the right wing.

What made you decide to portray an alter-ego persona the devil? Did people's reaction to it surprise you? Any interesting stories?

“Satan” has been around since the summer of 1996, even before FORD. The summer of 1996 was a confusing one for Van Halen fans. Why was Sammy fired? Was Dave back for good? What the fuck is going on? I think someone posted online that "The Devil must have done this". I felt that, given Satan's association with the band, from "RWTD" to his appearance on the cover of Dave's ALAE album, he should be able to answer his accusers. And so, in the later part of the 6th month of the 96th year, Lucifer rose from Hell to become a permanent fixture in the VH internet community.

As far as interesting stories.... Between October 96 and late 98, not a single person ever suspected that FORD and Satan were one and the same. In fact, since we were on the Slawterhouse site far more than TK was, many of the regulars there assumed that Satan & FORD were The Keepers!! People only started to put it together when they realized FORD & Satan had the same girlfriend. (Incidentally, she was the first one to figure out that I was Satan)

What's the story behind your FORD persona?

After the 1996 "reunion" was proven a scam in the infamous open letters of October, there was much anger on the boards, and I was no exception. I listened to what Sammy said. I listened to what Dave said. I listened to the Dutchmen deny everything. It became obvious that Ray Danniels was a big part of this fiasco. So I started posting FUCK OFF RAY DANNIELS on WB's site (promoting BOV 1 at the time) and the original Slawterhouse site (which at the time was a virtually identical parody of the WB site). I thought, hey, that makes a cool anagram. So F.O.R.D. was born. Obviously, I don't really have horns and a pointy tail, so FORD is me, more or less. Satan is more a persona.

What was your user name when Ed Leffler was manager?

Well, that would be going back to before I was on the actual internet. As for Ed Leffler, I think he did a great job as Van Hagar's manager. Leffler and Sammy saved the Lying Dutchmen's asses. I think he should have encouraged them to drop the cheese level, but other than that, he certainly promoted them well.

As many times and incidents that totally pissed you off about the Dome and associated people... why did you keep coming back?

Someone has to make sure Brad earns his paycheck. And someone needs to educate the sheep.

Are you a member of any other bands' message boards?

Satan's been known to appear at a Danzig website (www.the7thhouse.com) now and then. And I just registered at the Atomic Punks “new” site.


Who in the VH internet community would you like to hang out and party with and why?

It would probably be a shorter list to say who I absolutely would not party with. And I think everyone knows who would be on THAT list (Besides Ray Danniels, of course) Anyone else, you never know. Hell, I'll even drink Guinness in the company of Pasture Dump moderators if there's a DLR concert following


Do you meet with any VH board members we know on a regular basis?

Nope. So far, I haven't heard of anyone from Olympia yet, and I don't get to Seattle as often as I used to. Come to think of it, I haven't been there since Bumbershoot.

Who is your favorite adversary on the boards?

Anyone who is willing to debate the issues, be it cheese ballads, politics, or whatever without turning it into a personal attack fest. Unfortunately, they have been in short supply lately.

If someone were to throw you a surprise birthday party, who do you hope would be invited?

Angie Everhart.

If you could hang out with anyone - living or dead - for a weekend, who would it be? Why? How would you spend the time?

Jesus Christ. And we could trash all the televangelist studios just like He trashed the Temple when the moneychangers turned it into a marketplace

Which do you prefer... Guinness Pub Draught or Extra Stout?

Extra Stout is slightly better. However, on tap is best. And as I discovered last summer, it seems to be even better in Canadian pubs. Not sure why. But one of these days, I’m going to make it to Dublin and find a way to smuggle the real thing home.

What interesting things did you learn from your meeting with other board members at the Dave concert last year?

Don't let anyone from the PD take your picture!!

Who should sing for Van Halen if DLR isn't available?

Nobody. If it isn't Van HALEN at this point, call it a day.

Have you ever met any of the VH band members, past or present?


Not yet.

you have any neat Van Halen collectibles? What are they?

Just a few bootlegs.

you could sit and talk one on one with DLR... how would the conversation go? What would like to tell him... to his face?

Anyone who has read Dave’s book or an interview with him knows that the conversation could go just about anywhere. And that’s probably what would happen. If I were trying to do an interview with him, I would try to steer the conversation to certain subjects. But if it was just me, bullshitting with David Lee Roth, then who really cares WHAT you’re talking about, it’s gonna be an interesting discussion anyway. The one thing I would tell him to his face, is that if he absolutely cannot work things out with Eddie, then he needs to get Brian, James, and Ray into the studio and make the best Van Halen album in 20 years even if it’s without the name.

Same question....but Sammy.

Sammy seems to be an easy going kinda guy. I probably could hang with the guy as long as the conversation wasn’t all about his tequila or talking shit about Dave. Now, Eddie or Danniels, that’s different. And what I would ask him to his face is…. “Why did you let Eddie write so much fucking cheese when you could have gotten Montrose quality material out of him?”